Girls Who Game

Fallout 3 : Epic Fail

2009-02-09T16:01:00.001-08:00

My heart is aching. Just about everyday, I go visit my little Paragon of Good in the Jefferson Memorial lock up. Just a few experience points away from level 18, and she'll never see the murky daylight of the Wasteland again.

I was all set to RAVE to you about Fallout 3. A perfect combination of gaming treats: a little shooting, a little collecting, a whole lot of exploring and a fantastic storyline to tie it all up. This is the world of post-apocalyptic open-ended gaming, solo-style. No two games are alike. The key element that steers the mood is (not surprisingly) good vs evil story choices. And unlike Mass Effect, where the characters got pissed off if you were rude to them, but the results were the same, in Fallout 3, you really do lead a separate life on either side of the fence. You can even sit ON the fence and be neutral, in which case I guess people start depositing all their money in your banks... Fallout 3 caters to a myriad of gamers. If you prefer story, stick to it. If side quests are your bag, dig in. If you are deep in the core of your being, a TRUE nerd, the physics of object manipulation and interaction are so detailed that you could easily spend several hours just organizing the shelves of your Megaton pad. Yes, I cleaned my apartment. Digitally.

I was in love, goddamn it. 63 hours in and dreaming about Bobbleheads. And then somehow, someway, I stumbled across the MOTHER of all glitches. The Main Story Line, a series of quests which divulge chunk by juicy chunk the whereabouts of your father and the whole point of your crummy digital existence... well, I got to what I assume is about halfway through, when the game just started freezing. No response, reboot. Try again? Freeze again. Yes, I tried everything. I spewed venom all over the forums, I bought a map of Maryland and threw darts at Bethesda. WHY. Why does this have to happen to me?? I found a similar glitch in Champions of Norrath (Damn you, Babik Nurn!). And by similar I mean, the only true way to fix the glitch is to START OVER. With the 'patch' downloaded. Maybe.

But I can't do it, gentle reader. Not right now. The first few levels of that game kinda SUCK anyway. At least they do now that I look back - through this veil of bitter tears. A fellow gamer, content in his comfy past-the-glitch-world suggested I could just go finish all the side quests and explore. How dare he? It's not the SAME!! Nothing will ever be the same. Instead, each day, I power up my Xbox and load the game one more time, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time it won't freeze. I lost faith along time ago.

You murdered me, Bethesda. Let it be known.

The Ring 3 - Red Ring of Death (Trailer!)

2008-10-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

You missed me, didn't you? Just say you did. It doesn't really matter if you're lying, as long as you're convincing. I missed you. I'm lying. I didn't think of anyone for the past 6 months. Except "Banekitty", my level 70 (finally!) Tauren Druid. FOR THE HORDE! She's feral spec, btw, and loves to tank Heroics. Especially since the latest patch.

For those of you who are confused, in RL (real life) terms, I got addicted to World of Warcraft. But now that Wrath of the Lich King is pending, I have gotten off my butt to tell you a little story about something that's affected over 33% of you spectacular XBox 360 owners. It's called the Red Ring of Death, and last spring it took down our 360 Elite like a lowbie noob in Gurubashi Arena. (I told you not to go in there - that treasure chest isn't alone!)

For more details, check out my latest video, "The Ring 3". And if you do come across this nasty defect, don't bother with blankets and prayers, simply call Microsoft and they will trade it out for a shiny refurbished one in no time. Cause if they don't? Well, they have trained us in urban, post-apocalyptic, stealth and wartime combat... so I don't think they really want to test us, now do they?

Want to test video games??

2008-07-07T19:10:00.001-07:00

If you live in the LA area, you can totally be on my call list to test the latest video games! You must be able to attend a testing in the LA area during the week. Please send me an email at taraochs@gmail.com with the following details - and do it quick, I already have two testings lined up for this week!!

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Phone:
Email:
What consoles you own (from PC to XBox, and including handhelds)
Your three favorite games (current)

These sessions offer compensation of free games and often cash as well! It's a lot of fun and I have all kinds of games that need testing, so don't hesitate to drop me a line, even if you're just a beginner or casual gamer!

The Guitar Review LIVES!

2008-04-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

Here I go (FINALLY) posting another review. Do you want my excuse as to why this took so long? Can you say MMORPG? Yup. It was inevitable. Along with a new laptop with optimum processing speed comes the ability to play Warcraft. You didn't seriously think I was going to be able to hold out once I knew my Mac would run the game, did you?

But inevitably, I was humiliated after trying to run my first instance, and so I return to you, my faithful XBox friends. Here is the latest installment of "What's In My Box?" I did a little comparison study of the guitar games. I think you will likey.

Here's the thing about the great schism which created Rock Band and left GH3 painlessly intact - IT WAS A GOOD THING. One game now honors the skill and art of air guitar gaming, while the other pays tribute to the fact that most of us just want to play, and don't give a flying hoot about scores and rep. Well, there was the one guy who insisted that we didn't give up a song because we would lose our hard-earned fanbase. But that just makes him a prime candidate for the beer run. :)

Rockband vs Guitar Hero 3

2008-03-05T11:06:00.001-08:00

That's what's next, fools! I will shoot it this week and hopefully have it up in the next few days. I wanted to add a little more production value, maybe show you some hot new girls, and put together my own clever in-camera effects. But in the end it may just be a cute review from a girl with boobs. We'll see. I'm getting to it! Sheesh! I had to go snow-boarding and surfing this weekend. Yes, I did. Look, you asked for a well-rounded, ideal girlfriend, so in order to be your everything, I have to put in a little extra party-time. Now, don't start arguing with me. It's your fault you suggested I start playing Mass Effect BEFORE I had the RB vs GH3 review finished. You know I'm going upstairs right now to finish just one more level and then I can start taping my review. Don't look at me like that! Alright, fine. I swear I'll do it on my very first ever console, the TI. Now you know I'm serious. Here's a pic of me in the snow.

In my Spare Time

2008-02-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

When not playing video games, I am sleeping. What a short post.

OK, so also on Friday nights I do improv. Just in case you want to see me live and funny and you are in LA. Here it is:

Fridays at 9pm, ACME Comedy Theatre of Los Angeles takes on the tough questions that LOST won't answer! Hilarious on-going comedy show gets 'deeper' into the real mysteries of the island.

LostAway Island
Fridays, 9pm til April 4th
ACME Comedy Theatre
http://www.acmecomedy.com/
135 N. La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202

This ain't your Gilligan's Island

Halo 3 Review!

2008-01-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

It's finally up, my little chickens! Your patience has been rewarded with yet another review by a girl who plays games. I swear! Except that in the process of trying to get this baby published, I haven't been able to play anything new - you know how addiction starts. And of course with my new MacBook comes the ability to play a certain online sensation known as the World of Warcraft. GREAT. Nice knowing you! So next up, I think, is going to be a ridiculous comparison of Guitar Hero 3 and RockBand. It will, if all goes well, be my first review which will include other hot girls. OK, settle down. I know what you want and of course you're gonna get it, but first you really must behave.

Say, while you are watching the Halo 3 review, why not subscribe to my channel? The reviews should be coming more regularly now. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea...

I also need to credit a source, in my review. If you want to know how to see and learn more about "finding the skulls," visit Halo3Planet.com. Those guys are serious!

MacBook Blitz

2008-01-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

OH you sexy thing. Waiting for your Halo 3 review so patiently - well after its sales have dropped down to like 5th best selling game in the U.S. I'm sure you've already somehow pre-bought Halo 4 and Halo 3.2: the Afterbirth and Expanded Themed Arenas. Alas, I can only excuse myself by explaining to you that I had to update the gear. My previous faithful IBook calmly informed me it would no longer be editing anything, thank you very much, and that I could kindly stick my footage up my... yes, IBooks talk. They don't do much else after five years of good behavior, though, so I had to get the new deceptively similar MacBook. A tank dressed up as a bunny. This baby is so powerful I can Google the future. By the way, the Patriots are in for a surprise, and your next birthday is going to be SWINGIN'.

So thanks for your patience. The reviews will be coming much more quickly now; although I'm not overly ambitious, I AM hoping to shoot for about one a month. Halo 3 should be up within the next 24 hours. Go ahead and get ready. I would recommend taking off your pants and then putting them back on with your underwear on the outside. And then send me a pic.

Alright Already! Taping TODAY!

2007-12-04T13:55:00.000-08:00

SPOILER ALERT - Don't read the third paragraph if you haven't seen the Season 1 Finale of Torchwood yet and care.

Here's the problem with having a great idea and also having a video game addiction: everytime you think - "Oh, hey, I wanted to get that thing done that is really creative and fufilling and could lead to an awesome future perfect job!" - you are probably also thinking simultaneously - "Man I want to finish the campaign on Halo 3 so I can start the campaign on Call of Duty 4." And as an addiction is defined in Tara's Unabridged and Incomplete Dictionary as "Anything that you want to do way more than anything else, to the extent that you forget to go to class or eat," it is clear which of these activities is more likely to commence.

In short, I'd rather play video games than tell you about them. Sorry, but you aren't quite as fulfilling as finding the skulls. It sounds ridiculous when I type it, but it's true.

Well, and then there's the part where I have this silly fear that my review show is actually really vital to the welfare of the universe and if this next episode sucks then somehow that is going to cause a major rift in space-time and that awesome/scary beast will appear whose shadow is enough to kill you (as seen in Torchwood). I know. It's unlikely, and even if it happens, John Barrowman can save the world just by screaming and shooting white light out of his chest. Oh damn - I guess I have to put spoiler alert at the top of this post now... OK, hang on... There. Anyway, the point is, it's not a huge deal if my episode sucks, and frankly I don't think it will, so now that I've finished Halo 3, I am going to shoot this damn review and post it already. Thanks for your patience, and maybe between this and my next review, there won't be such a lame lag time. Of course, Christmas is around the corner, and that means more free time and new games as presents!!! So no promises.

For my Next Trick!

2007-10-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

I am hoping to get a review done every two weeks, but I guess that's being a bit ambitious. But I can give myself a break, because I posted a commercial for a local radio contest instead. If you want to see my first foray into animation, check out my Volvo commercial on YouTube. Sadly, I'm not quite sure it was accepted into the competition because I may not have emailed it to the right person at their station. Oh well - it's still the best one out there (in my humble opinion) and I should by rights be driving the new Volvo C30 for two years. But the point is I did the commercial, right? Tell that to my check engine light.

And for my next review, I'm vascillating between the Katamari Damacy release for the 360, and the oh-so-obvious Halo 3. There's no point in reviewing Halo 3, really, but I could post a honest response type of video where I confront the reality of coming into the Halo scene with no skills - it's humbling at the very least. It's probably like playing golf against the real Tiger Woods - since I've never done any golfing aside from putt-putt. As I continue to attempt these reviews, along with the bigger picture of producing myself, I am having an urge to approach this more from a chick-to-chick perspective - and leave the know-it-all guys out. Boys are what brought me to video games, and still their true hearts elude me - what do they really want? I'm like that girl who thought if she played soccer as well as the boys, they would like her. But she just ended up having really thick legs.

So Katamari is my best bet, you think?

In the beginning there was Bioshock

2007-10-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

Our first video will be posted within the hour, and I am nervous as hell. First of all, how dare I? How dare anyone, really? Seriously? HOW?

Who do I think I am to tell you what I think about video games? It's a good question. I'm stuck. Couldn't tell you what gives me the right, but I can tell you that I have always been overwhelmed by the quantities of reviews out there, and how few of them are interesting or intelligible to the average gamer. Especially girls. We game, PS.

Years ago, when I was a wee chicken, I realized that the boys were all talking about one thing - Nintendo. And if I could also talk about Nintendo, perhaps even educate them on how to get a hundred lives on Level 1-1 of Super Mario Bros, then perhaps they would pay me a little attention. This was pre-boobs, by the way. So I did what I could. I played games. Sure I played the hell out of Zelda (who was the jerk that told me after you beat it nine times something cool would happen??). But I also played Metroid and Megaman, TecmoBowl and Ice Hockey. I taught myself Basic and programmed a little man of letters to run across the screen of my TI. And I spent HOURS looking under rocks and kissing trees in the King's Quest series.

So here I am, years later, and I want you to know what I'm playing. Because I want to know what you're playing. Because there is so much out there now, and if I miss another good one like Resident Evil 4, I might just cry. And also because boys are still gaming, and they are still cute. Very cute. Sigh...

Welcome to my video game reviewing club. Hopefully I'll review every two weeks. We'll see. I've got my sights set on Eternal Sonata next - SO GIRLY!!! But if I start getting into RPGs like I'm wont to do, you may not see me for awhile. In the meantime, please post comments (don't be scared to sign up for an account, Google doesn't bite) and give me your gamertag so I can add you to my Xbox Live friends list. (If you don't have XBox Live, diseregard that last part about the gamertag.)